Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Just a Random Thought...

When I was younger, (before kids younger ~ I know...ages ago!) I would see children in the stores throwing HUGE tempter tantrums.  I would think... my children will not act like that.  Those parents need to invest in parenting classes.  I was an education major and so I had taken many psychology classes and child development classes...therefore...(tongue in cheek) I knew how to parent ~ I was going to be great!

Then along came Ashley.  Although Ashley is a great kid...she threw the daddy of them all tempter tantrums!  It didn't matter where we were...the mall, home, my aunt's house,...if we were there and she felt the need ~ along came childzilla!  Look out!  After that...I realized that you can't necessarily stop temper tantrums.  I was humbled.  (Thank you God!)  I also decided that I would NEVER again say, "My child will never _____ ."  I will take all that you have to give Lord and be grateful!  (and humble)

I will love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies.
Psalm 18:1-3

Fast Forward 13 years... to the almost present day...

I have a friend who has more children than I do.  (I know, can you believe it?)  Like my family, she has both biological and adopted children.  (Isn't it ironic?)  Obviously, our friendship was meant to be...

She started foster and adopting long before I did.  She was a seasoned pro when I came into the picture.  I sought out her intelligence every opportunity that I got!

There was one thing that I was never fully comfortable with...the boys!  Her boys were very loud, and rambunctious, and wild!  I wasn't sure how I would handle something like that. (See, I didn't say my kids wouldn't) I opened up to her one day (hoping and praying she wouldn't be offended), and asked her "How does she handle it?"  I would actually pray for her, because I just knew that she was blessed with children because of her patience, but I just knew she needed extra help from God. I myself would go crazy with boys.

Along came the twins (adopted at birth)...two boys...(Dear Lord, Grant me serenity...) They were so cute, and cuddly, and sweet, and innocent, and quiet.  (Dear Lord, Grant me understanding...) 
I was blessed. 
I was happy.

Then along came Tyler. (Thank you Lord!)  Another boy.  He was 2 1/2 when he came to live with us.  He was sweet.  He was gentle (ok - not with the twins, but when he was around other people).  He obeyed.  He (for the most part) did what he was told.
I had perfect children.  (Thank you Lord.  You are good! ~ All the time!)

Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good;  
Sing praises to His name, for it is lovely
Psalm 135:3

Then the twins started to grow and come into their own persons....then came the secret smile I would see on my friend's face when she thought I wasn't looking,
then came the comments,
"Really?  They don't just lay in their beds and fall asleep for you?" 
"Really?  They throw food at dinner time?" 
"Really?  You're perfect angel children don't do everything you ask the first time you ask them too?" 
(OK - her comments were never smarmy like that, know she was thinking that!  She's an amazing Christian woman, but she is still human!)

Fast forward to today...

My friend was picking up her brood of children from the church when I jumped into her Excursion and announced, "I've missed you!  Let's get together and watch other people give us dirty looks because we have so many children and none of them behave!"

(Fear me ~ I do jump in other people's vehicles to talk ~ and yes, I find other moms with LOTS of kids to hang out with!)

So, of course we charted out a time and place and the date was set... Then, we started is where the random thought actually started...

We both have special needs children.  I fight for every need that my children have, and I am an active participant in their therapies.  My kids are not left with the therapist only so I can do dishes or laundry.  I sit with them, mimic the therapist, and practice throughout the week.  My friend has tried to be loud and vocal regarding the therapies that her kiddos get, but she isn't that type of personality.  She accepts what is given to her and she does the best with what she has.  While talking today, she mentioned that my kids will qualify for the developmental preschool when they turn 3.  I said, "Yes, but we'll see what the school actually says."  Her comment to me was..."You're loud enough.  You will make them listen to you.  You won't just sit by quietly."  I agreed with her and I wondered...

how does God determine who gets which gifts and which children?  He chooses us for specific "things" (not really sure which word to use!).  He also gifts us/blesses us with children that He knows we need/want/can handle. 

Did God give me these children because:
  • I wanted them and he approved of my parenting skills with Ashley so he thought I wouldn't mess up with any more?
  • He knew I would fight like a momma bear to get every possible need met for my kids?
  • or is it simply...  BECAUSE.
He loves me and knows me.
He knows that I trust in Him, and I draw my strength from Him.

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 37:3-5, 7a
Thank you, Lord!  Thank you for my friends, my family, and my blessings!

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